6.5 Stars
X-Men First Class [2011]
Alright, so this movie was a reboot / prequel to the X-Men trilogy (Not the Wolverine spin off).
There is nothing profound or ground breaking about it. It shot low and hit lower.
This movie is, for all intents and purposes entertaining, but nothing else. That's not saying the movie was bad per-say--on the contrary, I thought it was pretty well executed....for what it was.
You know what I will say? It was better than the following to put this in perspective: Hellboy, Fantastic 4, Spiderman 3, The Hulk, putting this film right in the center of "Garbage" and "Great" at a meager "It was ...okay."
[My original 2011 review unedited]
The movie takes place during the cold war, featuring a very young Xavier and his buddy what's his nuts Magneto before he was Magneto. Oh, and Mystique and a few other randoms, like The Beast.
The story tries pretty freaking hard to be something it isn't though: profound / revolutionary. It wanted to make you say "HOLY HELL! THAT'S WHY THAT HAPPENED IN THE FUTURE!" but my reaction was like "Oh...I see. K. Get on with the plot..."
One thing that really fucking irked me was the utter failure of choosing interesting antagonists. Like you have full license to rewrite the backstory (within reason) and you opt for what...a devil? It's probably because I'm not a huge lore master (I value movies on their own merit), but these mutants felt extremely generic. Boring. They didn't have unique powers, they just had washed versions of the other films.
Oh, wow... a guy that throws lasers... wow...diamond girl.... oh boy, a guy looks like a devil and doesn't really do much of anything (did he throw fire or teleport or something?). Basically, you have a convoluted story of random bullshit characters doing random bullshit stuff and then the climax happens. It was sloppy. The costumes were okay, the sets were meh, and the acting was ...passable.
I think what this movie lacked (proper action / story) it made up for in drama. It was just so god damn dramatic. It was melodramatic. It was obnoxious. Like, if you ignore the fact that you both A) Don't give a shit about the characters and B) Accept that you're just waiting for shit to go down, it's pretty entertaining.
One positive aspect is that they didn't force fuck you with the "side story: romance", but if I'm honest it did feel like I was gargling the directors nuts (the way I felt watching the Japan theme of Wolverine [2013] my god that was a catastrophe and I was plastered for the first half).
I think my least favorite scene was the horrific montage. What is this fucking rocky or something?
Shit finally pops off and a bunch of random assclown no name mutants duke it out and pick sides and then the finally happens and it's all "oh look he ended up in a fucking wheel chair, what a surprise..." and then it's all "CALL ME MAGNETO BITCH" and I'm like, honestly, just fuck this entire movie.
But yeah....it was okay. It's tolerable, I'll say that much. It's nothing profound, it's nothing ridiculously entertaining, and the mutant action is really nothing to be desired. I mean, how the hell can you top the third movie where Kitty (Ellen Paige) is looking all sexy and fux0ring the Juggernaut BITCH!?
Anyhow, Mystique makes an appearance and again no one really gives a shit....
Basically, this whole movie boils down to this
Okay. We get it. It's in the past. It's X-Men. Oh, look a reference to the movies. Oh, look some shitty origin story. Oh, it's over. That was cool, I mean...I guess...
Would I recommend it?
Honestly, no. The only people I would possibly recommend this movie to are already going to have watched it and probably loved it so much they creamed themselves when they saw half of the poorly directed action scenes. McAvoys (I know his name off hand: get at me!) acting notwithstanding (WHERE IS WANTED 2?!) this movie was mediocre.
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