BROOKLYN [2015] // Drama, Period Piece

BROOKLYN! 1951! A year that has never felt so ......boring. Yes folks, this movie sucked. There was nothing to take away from it, nothing memorable, and nothing special.

That's not to say that things didn't happen in it that weren't compelling, but from a narrative perspective, it had no arcs. The entire movie could have been compressed into an opening act no more than 35 minutes long. I kept waiting for things to heat up and for a conflict of some variety to start (as it did in THE IMMIGRANT) but it just never did. This movie is filled with missed opportunities in this capacity (e.g the kid discussing corrupt cops -- you'd think they'd play a roll later on, but they never do).

Then there's the acting...I honestly can't tell if Saoirse Ronan just can't act, or if she keeps getting cast as someone with no personality. I suspect it's the latter, because she does have scenes -- but they come at such bland times that you can't help but roll your eyes.

The characters are all the same note. They have little personality and seem like a 3rd or 4th hand retelling of some grandmother's story of coming to America. Honestly, I could write the ENTIRE plot (and subplots -- or sore lack-thereof) out in as many paragraphs as this review. No hyperbole. Let's do it at the end so we don't spoil it.

The dialogue in Brooklyn was inconsistent. Most scenes felt half-baked, where some of the lines were delivered on beat and with purpose...but the other half were just throwaway lines you'd expect would have been edited out on a previous version. The lines are delivered properly and on beat, but never hold the emotional weight. I can't tell if this was a musical score issue or what, but something just felt dry.

Overall, I'd give this movie a very weak 4/10. It is as cliche as it is forgettable. Skip it.


>girl in ireland
>work at store it suck
>girl go to america
>boat sux no bathroom
>girl lives with ppl they so funny
>girl work at store
>girl do stuff at home
>girl go to dance meet boy
>girl love boy
>girl meet boy parents nothing happen
>girl marry boy
>girl sister die
>girl go home to ireland very sad
>girl meet new boy
>girl not really fall in love
>girl talk to old boss
>girl say bye to mom go back to america
>girl hug husband the end.
>credits

[Review - TV] RIVER - 2015

It's Christmas, I'm lazy. I'm not even going to edit this because Eggnog. (I'm serious).


River is this British detective show that is every bit as despondent as it's main character. He's a detective who talks to the dead (like we've never seen that trope before a thousand times) and it's just as cliche as the last 20 times I've seen it. Honestly, to date, LOST is the best portrayal because the POV is a street punk that has it as a curse.

Anyhow, the character fluctuates between this prolific writer who goes off on anime-esque tangents and quotes, and this 'I-never-smile-I-am-so-broken' nobody.

The characters are nill. They orbit around, constantly like mosquitos in our POV's ear, but I don't think it was intended to be written that way. The problem with writing a loser with no friends or family (they're all dead, DEAD!!!) is it's boring. The closest thing to a friend he has is the ghosts. I mean seriously, when this show got pitched I can see why someone showed interest, but it's a pitfall.

It's one note and it's constant. Even the exciting parts seem to move in slow motion. It's all so boring. It's not gritty or dark, it's just trite. The acting is...I mean for what it is I'll say pretty well done, but then how difficult is it to act like a zombie?

I feel like this would have worked better if he wasn't a detective and instead was someone who chased Spies internationally. That's the show I wanted. Jason Bourne's chaser who talks to ghosts. Instead I got the same show I've seen like 6 times with different genre watermarks.


That's not even touching on the erratic and overly secretive narrative, that borders on obnoxious. Scratch that, it is obnoxious. It's as confusing at times as Tinker Tailor Solider Spy, but without any of the clever. Like I get there are big dark secrets, but it's not introducing them in a compelling way. It's just flipping me off saying "haha you don't know about this detail yet!". Stark contrast to a show like DAMAGES, though I really shouldn't be comparing the shows it just came to mind.

[MUSIC REVIEW] Zymosis - Between Two Points

This is the type of music my soul has been craving. We live in amazing times where some kid like me can discover such beautiful sounds at the touch of a button. As I said, my soul is craving this and I cannot wait to someday see this stuff live.

Classified (so I'm told) as psychedelic trance, this Uk

First, I love the band and the name origin at least in the English translation:  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/zymosis

zy·mo·sis   (zī-mō′sĭs) n. pl. zy·mo·ses (-sēz)1. Fermentation. 2. Medicine a. The process of infection. b. An infectious disease, especially one caused by a fungus. 

 Trippy :-3

http://www.last.fm/music/Zymosis/+wiki 

Zymosis is a psychedelic music project which has brought a bright light to the psy culture over the past 10 years. Zymosis is composed of two people who share their minds and souls to make you fly into the depth of trance.
Dimitro and Gree Shanti have devoted themselves to music and they continue to expand consciousnesses.
It is difficult to pin down their style, mixing elements of psytrance, downbeat, and ambient.
Zymosis is known not only in Ukraine, but has also featured prominently in a number of international special music events like Space of joy 2005-2006(www.spaceofjoy.ru), Sisto Palty 2006-2007(www.spaceofjoy.ru), & Trimurti 2007(www.trimurti.ru)
http://www.myspace.com/zymosispsyhttp://www.lastfm.ru/user/Zymosispsy

The music itself is absolutely brilliant. Especially track 9, quiet sadness. This is just absolutely brilliant. It has such a rich culture behind it, animal sounds, Earthy drums and synths and melodies. It feels like this music is derived from nature itself. Relaxing, tranquil, and rhythmic. It's perfection. The flutes are a great touch. I don't know what the song is about, but I know I love it.

The very last track, Forgotten Days, is absolutely a masterpiece. The craft around the sound itself is astounding, but when the base drops in over the piano roll it's just astonishing. Your entire body just wants to dance. It's dark, it's unique, it's emotional, it's elaborate, smooth. Really grinds or rather caresses the hairs in your inner ear. :3

[Review] Episode 06 "ALWAYS ACCOUNTABLE", Season 6: THE WALKING DEAD

Ah, yes. The Daryl show. :)

This week’s episode (6), of The Walking Dead brought us the conclusion of Rick’s master plan. I’ll say now, most of this was pretty predictable, though that isn’t talking down on the writing. It is paced properly, and given the time-line of the season, it’s about time we found the wolves den so to speak.

After Abraham (I love this dude and his new rocket launcher) gets ambushed, we get a bit of a peak into his character. He’s not entirely insane, but he is spiteful and vindictive. When asked why he’s smiling, he says “we won”. His reckless abandon might have gotten him killed if Sasha hadn’t been there to talk him down. I suspect very soon we’ll see him go off the deep-end in a similar situation, and it will probably be his death (or the death of someone else through his negligence). Actually, twice this episode he will be talked down by Sasha. Ironic, since he was originally there to watch out for her.

Daryl is really the star of this episode, and I’m sure the ladies are happy to tune in. He’s such a cliche bad-boy heart throb, but it works. After stumbling across two women, Daryl is knocked out by some guy. I think the video effect used to show distortion was pretty well done, albeit cliche. The introduction for these characters leaves us in exactly the same situation as our POV Daryl: bewildered. Who are these people? They’re not wolves, or at least don’t wear the forehead marking. They call the zombies “dead ones”. We already know (I mean it’s season 6) how Daryl will react, but he is again faced with a moral dilemma (do I save the diabetic girl by giving her the medicine, or do I save myself?). Obviously, we know he’s going to give it back. The question becomes, what will the result of “finishing this quest” be?

The makeup in this season is seriously astounding. I’m not going to lie, if I saw these people dressed up like taht in real life and I wasn’t sure it was a zombie show being filmed, I might actually scream. This episode is pretty middle of the road. I mean, some stuff happens at the end as per usual—you know Abraham trying to put moves on Sasha and all that (is she a solider or do they just portray her in that light, I can’t recall). You know, the people robbing Daryl (we needed more antagonists anyway. None of it this season felt personal). I had originally suspected that as a result of this, we’d get an inside man (Daryl) traveling with the wolves. We’ve not had much exposure to them yet, and Daryl would be the perfect guy (like when he was traveling towards Terminus). But instead, the entire episode just looped back on itself :/ Overall, I wasn’t very impressed.

(It should be noted that I watched this episode online via Time Warner Cable. The GMC service advisor advertisement LITERALLY played 3 times in a row. Then a random one played. Then the GMC one played 3 more times in a row. . .I started keeping a tally after the 2nd commercial break and by the end of the episode, I shit you not, it had played over 17 times. No hyperbole. I’m serious. 18. Not 5. Not 6. 18. Eight-Fucking-Teen… Thanks a lot guys. You know what I’m never going to buy? Your fucking trucks. Fuck the fuck off GMC! YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!! And fuck you Time Warner Cable, your quality for streaming is a god damn joke. I even tried muting tabs so when I clicked away during the mirad of bullshit it wouldn’t freeze, but it just locked the browser and said “this content isn’t available”. I should have just torrent’d it and save the 480p quality garbage.)

SJW's & SLACKTIVISM -- Systemic Failure Leading to Radical Butthurt Children Crying WAH WAH WAH!!!

Hi reddit. Give me some feedback on my movie reviews as well if you get time :-3 Also, please note, this isn't explicit vitriol. It's more of just a screaming raging caricature comic that I host elsewhere incarnating my frustration. I don't think the problem is even as bad as I'm making it out to be. It's just fun to rage against stuff and show how emotions can cloud both sides. Please, don't take me so seriously. I'm a hippy who does acid and smokes weed and I was drunk when i wrote this. I have my shit together, but let's be honest. My name is GLITCH HIPPY. How seriously should we take me? I ain't Noam Chomsky or Gore Vidal ;3

Starship Troopers [1997] Space, Sci-fi, Cult, Action

[This is the entire movie -- also on Netflix in HD]

For the nuanced genre of what it is: 8.5/10

Compared to like other good movies: 4/10

Utterly. Fucking. RIDICULOUS!

The movie is something I never expected. It's a gore fest, comical, politically progressive, rated-R shit show-and-a-half cluster fuck of awesomeness. Don't go into this expecting a profound narrative, or anything of the sort. This is an absurdest movie, though it does have character arcs, it still sequences them through the utmost of absurdities (giant bugs invading!)

Would you like to know more?

Start to finish, this is a balls to the wall action flick. Instant classic. This movie is certainly 90's but actually comes off as an earlier period piece. There are some extremely memorable scenes throughout, partly because they're just so unique and ironically progressive. The football scene is ridiculous. He does a front flip over people, and in this universe girls play on the team right beside the guys. In fact, sex and gender seem to be totally meaningless in this universe, which I think works to its benefit. I wonder how many snooty tight asses got butthurt about the nude co-ed shower scene.

Would you like to know more?

Personally, I loved it. The entire thing. Neil Patrick Harris is in this, so that's pretty awesome. Honestly, the entire cast is pretty much perfect. There is something about the tone that makes this more of a genre piece than anything else of its type from the 90's. Remember, this came out just 1 year before stuff like Armageddon, American History X, and Saving Private Ryans, yet it feels like it could have easily been a decade earlier.

Would you like to know more?

The antagonists in this universe are formidable to say the least! Although the realism of this universe is totally suspended within the first 10 minutes of the flick, these bugs seem menacing as fuck. They have razor sharp appendages, and suck brains out to read minds O_O There are billions of them and they make our Troopers look like the ants!

Would you like to know more?

I really liked the strange and comical overtones of the "would you like to know more" advertisements that play throughout the film and the [CENSORED] that was used as comic accent to the entire thing.

Overall, this movie is an obscenely high-caliber and presumably budget space adventure that you should not watch sober. It's the dopest shit ever, yo. They'll keep fighting. AND THEY'LL WIN!

LUCY [2014] Sci-Fi, Action, Drama

Compared to anything else: 3/10
Standalone rating: 7/10



I mean let's be real here...no one expected it to be great.

With that out of the way, I can honestly say I enjoyed it. Was it a good movie? Hell NO! But that doesn't mean I didn't like it. It was garbage, but whatever, I didn't watch this to be anything profound. Let's just knock the obvious out of the way first:

* Shit characters

* Trite dialogue

* Awful bordering on ZERO PLOT

* Terrible pacing

* Abysmally character arcs.

* Yatta yatta, blah blah we get it Glitch, this shit sucked.

* Yup. It did. :)

So...Lucy: AKA Live Action Elfin Lied, AKA Limitless mixed with Chronicle. Good? Nah. Entertaining? Straight up!! Hella entertaining!!

I really did like the spliced in Nat Geo footage, and flash backs. Stylized, and unique. It was amusing and a great touch. Also, it wasn't very predictable, which was enjoyable as usually I see everything coming a mile away. So that was a plus.

It should be noted that the whole MYTH about 100% of the brain or whatever is bogus. And though this superhero-esque origin / backstory is pretty ridiculous, Scarlet is a great actress so I suppose I can forgive it, if for no other reason than her pulling off bad ass quite well (as is her specialty).

Morgan Freedman is also a great touch. He really makes the flick come together. I don't really care for Lucy as a character, because honestly, she isn't one. She's a plot device and not a great one at that. Interesting premise, but vapid through and through. Whateves :P Still fun!

The finale, which puts the stop motion from NOAH to shame was absolutely stunning. Seriously, the entire movie seems to be contingent on this scene. It was gorgeous. Though thoroughly pointless, I was simply blown away by it. Sure, it's been down before on the Discovery Channel, but never with the scope and caliber. Truly well done.

All that said, this was still a garbage movie but for those highlight moments. Watch 'em on youtube, skip the rest :3 thank me later.